Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

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Get the Funk out!

Hey friends. Just wanted to drop a shorty short note and let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you! I forgot my phone number, my address and my kid’s birthday, but not about you! Ha ha! just kidding, mostly.

We are just winding up our school year and it’s crazy how it seems to go faster the closer we get to the end. I don’t get it, it never seemed to work that way when I was a kid!

I’m also dealing with some feelings of nostalgia. A funk, really. My son, my oldest, my most precious first-born is finishing elementary school today. I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone. They have been wonderful years and they’re coming to an end. Next year he’s in middle school. And on top of that, we’re putting him in a private middle school, which is um, less than appealing to him. The public school in our district is a very good school, my problem with it is the fact that 14 elementary schools come together in one building for a class of approximately 1100 kids, PER GRADE. In one building. Yeah, can you say ginormous? We don’t want him to fall thru the cracks or feel like he’s not worthy or good enough. The school we’re putting him in has 35 kids in the 5th grade right now, in two classes. It goes thru 8th grade and then feeds to one of three private high schools. It has been a very difficult decision to come to and it’s a serious commitment for the next 7 years and beyond. I think the part of it that’s the hardest for me, besides the end of elementary school, is seeing him unhappy. He so does not want to go. One of his classmates will be going to this school, and he knows a few other kids there (it’s connected to our church in the way that Catholic schools are part of a parish I guess) so it won’t be a sea of unfamiliar faces. I think the reality’s setting in and it’s a major change. Even though I’ve told him it will be a major change either way. Agh, it’s tough being a parent sometimes.

And of course, in the midst of all of these mixed emotions, some numbnuts computer genius managed to get his stupid malware virus on my laptop, so it’s at the IT guy’s right now getting a thorough cleaning. Grr. If those ppl would use their brains for good, think about what a world we’d live in!

So, please forgive me for not posting any new recipes for a bit. I’ll be back next week with some delicious offerings. Think about roasted Vidalia onions, tomatillo salsa verde, and Tuscan chicken to name a few. Come back next week and see what’s new!

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What do you say?

 At church last weekend, I heard the name of one of our neighbors when the pastor read the list of people who need extra prayers. I was kind of surprised to hear her name, she’s in her 30’s and as far as I knew she was in good health.

A few days later I found out why her name was mentioned. Another neighbor who works with her told me that she was 4 months pregnant and lost the baby. They have three boys and this baby was a girl. I feel really bad for her, for all of them. It’s a really sad and tragic situation and thank you God, we were fortunate enough to never have to go through anything like that. They had a small funeral for her yesterday. And the mom was at the bus stop this morning putting two of her boys on the bus to school. I don’t know her very well, and didn’t say anything to her. I know she is grieving a death. Even though the child never lived outside her body, it was a living child and a part of their family that held hopes and dreams.

She doesn’t know that I know. We are acquaintances, but not friends. I have kept her and her entire family in my prayers, for strength, for love, for healing. But, do I say anything to her? Tell her I’m sorry for their loss and that they’re in my prayers? I don’t know. This is one of those tricky situations.  Anybody else been in this situation?

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Thank you God

You know, I’ve always known how blessed I am to be married to my husband. He is my best friend and what I would wish for all of my friends. He doesn’t try to make me into who he wants me to be, he builds me up when I’m down, he makes me laugh, and I have never ever questioned his love for me or dedication to our marriage or family.  He supports me in my endeavors and tells me he loves me every day when he leaves for work and when we go to sleep. That’s not to say he won’t call me out on something if he doesn’t agree with my idea or if he thinks there’s a different way to go about accomplishing something. We have discussions. We don’t fight. We never have. Yes, I have been known to get angry, or upset about something. But we have rational conversations to get things resolved. We’ve been together for 14 years now and they have simply flown by. sometimes it feels like only yesterday we got married, and others, it really seems like forever, only because life before him feels like a dream, a former life, almost.

Sometimes it just takes one thing to remind you of how fortunate you are. We were with some people yesterday we’ve known for a very long time, a married couple. They have been having difficulties in their marriage for a while. I really do my best to stay out of it, it’s not my place to insert myself into someone else’s relationship. but sometimes you just get caught in the middle accidentally.  They don’t talk to each other, one wants something very desperately that the other has no interest in and won’t even attempt to compromise. And I found out something else yesterday that is very disturbing. One told me that the spouse didn’t want to stay together if the other wouldn’t take the antidepressants that have been prescribed. Really? I love you, sort of, but if you stop taking your meds, I”m outta here? I was incredibly saddened to learn of this. I know everything is essentially here say in situations like that, but it’s really hard to discount what I was told.

As I was tossing and turning in my bed last night, unable to sleep thinking of this revelation, I prayed. I thanked God for giving me such a wonderful husband and partner in life. And I prayed that God give them the ability to open up to one another and try to work through their difficulties.  And if they are unable to work things out, to at least try, give their marriage a fair shot. I understand sometimes, you just can’t fix it, but you never know if you don’t try. I know pretty much for a fact that the spouse who gave the medication ultimatum doesn’t feel any responsibility for the  problems in their marriage. You can’t fix something when you don’t acknowledge there is a problem. One thing I have learned in my short life, it takes two people to do most things, fight, make a baby, carry on a conversation. So all problems in a relationship can’t be blamed solely on one person. I really care about what happens to them and there are children involved which makes it even more stressful. When we go to mass today, I will say an extra prayer for them and pray that God opens both of their eyes and hearts to what they can have and what needs to be done.

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Is Beauty Really From Within?

Ok, I just have to say something here. I do not watch “The Hills’ or any other reality show for that matter. They’re all scripted and edited and just a bunch of crap IMHO, honestly. So, it’s not a big surprise I really don’t know who Heidi whatsherface is. But she’s had her face plastered all over the place of late, so we’ve been introduced.

This young woman says that “Beauty comes from within” and yet has multiple cosmetic surgeries in a single day at the tender age of 23, when she has no concept of what gravity can and will do to her. If she really, truly believed that, she would have been happy with herself and not bowed to the ‘pressures’ of Hollywood. I really don’t like the signals that she’s sending out to young girls right now who watch that ‘show’ she’s on.  There are way too many images bombarding our girls, telling them they have to look a certain way in order to be liked or loved or get the job or the guy or whatever.

There are  a few words that come to mind in her case, the first is vapid. Truly, she has a vacuum between her ears, I”m convinced that’s what’s holding her extensions  hair on her head. Narcissistic is another good one. She believes if she has all these cosmetic procedures done, she’ll be a ‘star’. I’m sorry, but in my mind, being a star has something to do with, ahem, talent or skill.  An innate ability to do something, paint, sing, play piano, compose music, author books, play a sport at high levels, these are things that make people stars, their abilities and skills elevate them above the rest of the crowd. Not how they look. Oh, how about delusional? I like that one too. She is deluded in the thought that she will be able to get by solely on her looks for very long. I’ve heard a snipped of one of her songs, she can’t sing her way out of a paper bag, I don’t know how she thinks she’s going to be a pop star. For that matter, neither can Brittney, I don’t know how she’s managed to cling to her star for so long.

I looked at her before and after pictures. She was a lovely young lady before, but obviously incredibly insecure. I’ve read about the pressures of Hollywood and unrealistic expectations people place upon themselves and others when involved in the entertainment industry. However, simply making yourself over in the fashion that she has done, will not make her any more of a star than she is now. Unless, it’s in the ‘adult’ entertainment industry, which she looks like she will fit in perfectly after all of her ‘work’. She looks like an aging actress who’s trying to recapture her youth and glory days. She looks easily twenty years older than she is after having all of these things done to herself. If I were her mother, I’d be shocked and unhappy.

I have entertained thoughts of plastic surgery, breast enhancements to be specific. I am what you might call, ahem, a carpenter’s dream. if I had done it before my daughter was old enough to understand what’s going on it would be one thing. However, she is at a very impressionable age right now and I am doing all I can to help her love herself as she is and not be influenced by all of these images she sees. I know, it’s difficult. I was influenced by all of the airbrushed images staring back at me from the magazine covers. But I never dreamed of having surgery to look like any of them. I hope with all my heart, I can instill these ideas in my daughter.

Beauty truly does come from within, even though what she says and what she does don’t mesh. I’ve known people who were drop-dead, car-crash-causing gorgeous, but when they open their mouths to speak, they ruined the whole thing. And then there are the others, who are so ugly, what they say around here, they look like they fell through the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. And yet, they may have the best sense of humor or kindest spirit and suddenly, their looks dont’ matter so much. I guess that’s something this young woman will have to learn someday, and hopefully it’s not the hard way.

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