Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

Just another weblog

Who am I to decide?

I am a bad, bad friend.  My best friend in the whole world is a wonderful, beautiful person.  She’s had some really rotten  things happen to her and had her heart really badly broken earlier this year. She still presses on and is not only surviving, but she’s thriving, which makes me really happy.

How am I a bad friend, you ask.  She started dating a guy not long after a really painful breakup earlier this year.  He was a rebound guy, we both knew it.  My suggestion to her was to take some time to be alone, be by herself and let her heart heal and focus on herself for once.  She’s always taking care of everyone else.  She’s a big girl and I know we all have to make the best decisions we can for ourselves.  We have to make ourselves happy because no one else can.

This guy she’s dating is, um, well, not what I would pick out for her.  He’s way shorter than she is, very scruffy, and just not the person I pictured her with. But who am I to determine who she should be with anyway?  I have been leery of this guy and relationship because she was hurt so badly last time and I hate to see it happen again, but she’s a big girl, I’m just trying to be a good friend.

In my stupidity last night, I was exceptionally rude to him, which in turn hurt her.  I have been a narrow-minded, judgemental hag in my thinking of him.  I treated him the same way I was treated, still am treated, by people who are legally ‘family’ by marriage, I acted like he wasn’t even there.  I remember a time in my life when I was much younger these people couldn’t be bothered to speak to me when I was in the same room.  They acted that way towards me at my own damned wedding and I hate that feeling.  That feeling that I’m not worthy of someone else’s time, even just to be polite or civil.

I can make no excuse for my behavior.  All I can do now is apologize and hope my friend will forgive me.  She feels he is the one she’s been waiting for her whole life.  How can I argue with that?  If she loves him, and he her, what’s my problem anyway?  Isn’t that what I wished for her since we became friends ten years ago?  simply because he doesn’t look the way I think her significant other should is an injustice to her.  It shows that I am so petty, I can’t see past the exterior and look at what’s inside, and that’s what really counts right?

So, what would you do? Suck it up and have dinner with them?  I don’t know what my trepidation is all about. I’m in a quandary and really unsure what to do next.  I did send her an email and apologized for being such a rude ASS of a person. But what comes next, I just don’t know.