Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

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Poor Harry. I nearly wet my pants….

on February 10, 2011

**WARNING: do not read this if you have a delicate constitution. It could very well offend your sensibilities if you don’t care for bathroom humor.

Do you remember that time in your life, when every word that could possibly have a double-meaning made you snicker? Beavis, anyone? I apparently have not outgrown that stage. What do you expect? I have a 10 yo son who’s favorite thing is bathroom humor and a husband who’s really a 10 yo in a 44 yo body! 

 *snicker* ‘you just said ‘but'”.* snicker snicker.

‘Yes, as in,’I wanted to have creamer in my coffee, but, we are all out.’

It’s not that bad, yet, but you see what I”m dealing with here. So, now that you know these things about my life (aren’t you so glad??), the rest of this story shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.

Poor Harry. There was a mayor of a city in Indiana, I think it was. He was the longest serving mayor ever in that city. He did amazing things for the citizens there. He must have, otherwise they would’ve booted him out, right? Well, they have received a grant to build a new federal building of some sort there and are debating whose name will go on the building. Poor Harry. They have decided not to honor this man who gave so much of his life to the people of this city. Why? Well, in a word, his name. Not Harry. His last name: Baals. I can’t remember if that is German, Polish, Swedish, but whatever it is the, ‘aa’ in a word is pronounced ‘ah’, like wall. So, here is Mr. Longest-serving-mayor-in-city-history, whose last name is pronounced ‘balls’. Poor Harry  Baals. What a travesty, truly, an injustice.

So, why the heck am I telling you about something that’s happening in a city I’ve never been to and why do I care? I told my son, my 10 yo son, about poor Harry. You see he noticed me shaking my head as I was reading this article, and asked why I was shaking my head. (that’s the other part of this age, he needs to know everything that I’m doing) So I shared the injustice with him. Do I have to tell you that he laughed too?

Tonite we were all at the kitchen table playing a game, when somehow, poor Harry came up again. We were all agreeing it was so unfair that he was getting the short end of the stick, really getting shafted (puns totally intended). When my boy pipes up and says, ‘Yeah, if his name was Harry Johnson, it wouldn’t have been a problem.’  Totally innocent and not knowing what he’d just said. My husband and I were literally doubled over, crying with laughter, trying to catch our breath. I was just happy I didn’t pee my pants! My boy didn’t know that slang term, so he and his sister, who’s 7, were both looking at my husband and I as if we’d just gone completely crackers, wide-eyed and asking ‘Who’s Harry Johnson?” over and over. It seemed like the more they asked, the more we laughed! My husband finally took our boy aside and let him in on the joke, with the explicit instructions that he did not share that with his buddies, and especially not his sister. I so do not want to get phone calls from the moms wanting to know why my boy knows what a ‘johnson’ is!

Once I was able to breathe again and I’d wiped the tears from my eyes, I thanked him for giving me a good laugh! I obviously needed it!

Out of the mouths of babes, huh?

Here’s hoping you have had a good laugh today!

6 responses to “Poor Harry. I nearly wet my pants….

  1. Curtis says:

    Hilarious, really great. Thanks for the laugh.

    What were the odds he’d choose to just pick “johnson” as an example of a name that wouldn’t mean anything?

  2. valcitygal says:


  3. Great post, you had me over here laughing as well. I have not heard that slang in years!

  4. Thanks love! Glad I could share a good laugh!

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