Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

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Brown nosing?

on August 30, 2010

Ok, I have  a question for my friends/readers who have school-age children. Do you take a gift for your child’s teacher on the first day of school? Be honest! I have always taken a little goodie for them to start the year, just to show that we appreciate them. I love to bake, it’s usually grandma’s recipe banana bread. Then during the year, I’ll make them other things, like pumpkin bread around Thanksgiving, or cookies at Christmas, normally in a cute and reusable container-a gift in a gift.

Or, if you are, or were a teacher, when children bring you little gifts like that, did you feel like they were trying to get on your good side, or did you just appreciate the gesture?

My mom taught school for 30+ years and it’s a really important and difficult job. Many times, they don’t hear the positive reinforcement, they hear from the parents when they’re upset about homework, or behavior/discipline issues. They take work home with them on a regular basis, they spend their own money on supplies and extras, and in our state, they work for a lot less than what they could make in neighboring states because they love what they do. To me, making them some yummy goodies is the least I can do to show them that we really do appreciate the job that they are doing.

The reason for this post was a comment that was made to a friend of mine. She told me that on the ‘meet the teacher’ night, she and her daughter took some brownies to the teacher. Her daughter is the same age as mine, 7, and she loves to bake with her mom and it was her idea to make these treats. Another mom saw my friend with the gift bag and said to her face, ‘Brown noser.’ Really? I was floored. My thought is you can think anything you want, but you don’t have to say everything that pops into your tiny little pea brain. Was she upset that someone else thought of it and she didn’t? Or did she really think my friend was sucking up? I don’t know, I just think that was incredibly rude to say, especially when there are young children near by.

So my question for you is do you do anything like this for your child/children’s teacher? Or do you think it’s ‘sucking up’? And if you do feel like it’s someone trying to make ‘brownie points’ with the teacher, why do you feel that way? I’m just trying to learn what would move someone to say something like that, and I understand I may never know. Oh well, I will continue doing what I do, because I know they enjoy it and they deserve to be spoiled, even just a little bit. The job they do is incredibly important. If you are a teacher reading this, know that we love and appreciate you and the job you do!

4 responses to “Brown nosing?

  1. Curtis says:

    I used to teach, for 5 years. Now I’m a parent. I rarely got nice little gifts like that, but they are very appreciated. If anyone thinks that a child with behavior problems or a crappy attitude is somehow going to get special treatment because his/her mommy brought brownies, then that person is deluded and infantile. What is the benefit? 1) the teacher feels appreciated, 2) if the teacher has any issues or concerns about the child, he/she will feel more comfortable contacting a parent who was friendly and kind than the grumpy rumpy who clearly disdains teachers, 3) CHILDREN SEE WHAT THEIR PARENTS DO, and they model their behavior! So parents who are kind, respectful, and appreciative of teachers are modeling kind, respectful and appreciative behavior for their children.

    It’s not just good social skills, it’s good parenting. The grump who scorned your friend simply missed out when it was time to learn how to interact with others. That is OBVIOUS because she didn’t know to keep her snarky remarks to herself.

    • Thanks for that! I kind of felt the same way. This is something that I’ve always done and thought it was just something nice to do for them, and didn’t ever expect to get preferential treatment because of it. My friend was so shocked by this woman’s comment, she simply walked away, what else could she have done? I would’ve done the same. Well, for all the parents who never gave you little gifts, I would like thank you for your service to the future of our country and the difference you made in the lives of your students.

  2. Cindy Holman says:

    I’m a piano and voice teacher and I LOVE gifts! Many of my students bring me one to surprise me – and especially at the holidays. It’s fun to open them in front of them – they are always so excited to give them!

  3. I know how much my children enjoy taking little treats to their teacher, just to show they care, they have no ulterior motive behind it. And I”m sure someone bringing you a gift won’t make you sugar-coat anything you may tell them will it? If they need to continue working on something, you’ll tell them, or if they’ve done really well, you’ll tell them also. I just don’t understand people sometimes!

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