Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

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Observations from the parking lot

on August 22, 2010

I just got back from a trip to my fave local grocery store and, well, if you’ve been reading any of my posts you know my mind tends to wander and I notice some really off-the-wall things sometimes! Here are a few things I observed today.

Why is it that the people who drive the largest vehicles are the ones who are least able to park them between the lines? It’s always my luck that some knucklehead in a school-bus sized pickup/SUV can’t manage to pull in straight and ends up angled in a direction that is never beneficial for me!

Some peopel think they only have to look one direction when pulling out and invariably there’s someone coming from the opposite direction going entirely too fast and there’s either a collision or a near-miss that causes one or both drivers to need to change their pants.

The parking lot is not a garbage can, people! Don’t throw your dirty diapers on the ground because you’re too lazy to throw it in the garbage can that is most often right by the front door!

Blech! And in saying that, I can’t leave out the people who like to dump their ashtrays as well. Gross! I know most cars these days aren’t even made with ashtrays, but I still see those disgusting piles of cancer-inducing junk.

I think the same people who throw their nasty dirty diapers on the ground are the same lazy slobs who can’t put their carts in the cart corral that’s oh, maybe 10 feet away.  Oh, it just came to me! I know why they don’t take their carts, they’re trying to make a quick getaway before I can give them a hard time for using the parking lot for a toilet!

No matter how hard I may try, I always manage to park in the biggest puddle after a rainstorm, stepping out of my car and going ankle-deep in muddy, frigid water. There’s nothing like squishing your way through Target, making that wet shoe, squeaking sound all the while.

It doesn’t seem to matter that there is a crosswalk painted, or a stop sign, or even possibly both, there’s always some rude jerk who can’t spare the time to stop so you can cross. That one really burns me. You’re standing there in the rain/snow/scorching sun/freezing temps, and Mr. Jerkface is in such a hurry he can’t wait 2 seconds while you attempt to get where you’re going before getting soaked/frostbite/sunburn. Those people really piss me off!

And then there are the people you do stop for, because you are the courteous driver, who couldn’t walk any slower if they tried! What’s up with that?

Or how about those oblivious morons walking the middle of the drive, just having a leisurely stroll, as if they’re not about to become your newest hood ornament? I’m not sure which is worse, the middle walkers or the slow-as-freaking-Christmas walkers!

So, how about you? Have you had any interesting parking lot observations lately? Do share!

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