Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

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Jealous, Party of one!

on February 2, 2010

I know this is not really domestically related, not all of my posts are. But I just had to write about this.

My mother is 70 now, and looks fairly good for her age. She’s got salt and pepper hair that I’ve been hounding her for years to color. I told her, and it’s really true, if she colored her hair back to it’s normal nearly black shade, she would look ten years younger. Her latest retort is “People pay a lot of money to make their hair look like mine!” Ok, mom, you just keep telling yourself that!

My mom lives in the country and the only internet connection she can get is *GASP* dial-up! Can you  imagine? OMG! It would drive me insane to have to use dial-up! I am completely spoiled by my wonderfully fast internet connection.

So, she’s over at my house today and I was on Facebook. I’ve been talking about it and how much fun I”ve had on it finding old friends that I’ve lost touch with. Because of her dial-up internet dinosaur situation, she really doesn’t do a lot. When it takes 45 minutes to upload photos, it really makes you not want to do a lot.

Since she was here, I thought I’d bring her into the digital age and set up a Facebook page for her. Not that she’ll ever use it, unless she’s at my house or my brother’s, but it’s there whenever she may want it.

It’s really sad, the high school she went to, there’s no one listed on Facebook from her school. NO ONE! It’s a small school granted, but still, they don’t live in the back hills where there’s no current culture, it’s just a small town in Missouri. Or, as she calls it, Missourah.

So, since we couldnt’ find any of her high school pals, I pulled up her college. As I scrolled down the page, there was a lovely woman, really very attractive for her 70’s. I mean, I hope I look that good when I hit that decade! What does my mom do? She makes a really sniping comment “Well, she looks as prissy as ever!” what? “Well, she was the homecoming queen. And look at her now, showing her boobs.” WHAT??? Not even close! I clicked on this woman’s profile, and it said she’d been a middle school teacher. What a great profession. Seriously, isn’t that one of the most important and yet underappreciated careers around? My mom’s next comment: “I wonder if she was teaching with her boobs hanging out.” WHAT? This lady was wearing a v-neck blouse, and it did show just a hint of cleavage, but nothing that I would consider offensive or inappropriate in any way. “Mom, her boobs are not hanging out!”   “Yes it is! See, right there!” she pointed to a lighter spot on this woman’s skin just up from the bottom of the V as if that was cleavage hanging out. It totally was not!

Ok, moving on. Obviously my mother was jealous of this woman. She was very attractive and my mom is, well, my mom.  I guess she’s attractive, but she doesn’t do much to make herself look good. She rarely wears makeup, or her version is ‘rouge’ and lipstick. And on many people it works. Plain I guess is a good word. But to hear the real venom coming from her was a little disheartening. I love my mom, but she’s a difficult one, that’s for sure. Nothing is ever good enough and if you don’t do exactly what she does, then you’re not doing it right. And even if you are doing it exactly the way she does it, you still won’t be right. I just wish she could’ve have said, “wow! She’s aged really well”, or something a little nicer, rather than be so sniping. yes, there are people around whom I didn’t get along with, but I’m old enough to be able to appreciate who they are and how life has treated them. I don’t think I’ve ever said anything as nasty as that about someone I went to school with. I’ll have to think about that. it was kind of odd coming from someone who puts so little emphasis on what she looks like.

Oh well, I guess it just shows you never really know people.

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