Confessions of an Unintentional Domestic Goddess

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An Uninvited Guest

on December 4, 2009

I witnessed something last night and I was kind of , well, I don’t want to say gobsmacked, because it wasn’t that shocking.  But I was, well, surprised I suppose is a good word for it.

My daughter was invited to a classmate’s birthday party at a local inflatable party place.  So were several classmates.  When we arrived, she saw one of her BFF’s who lives a few blocks over from us. Her mom was there bringing her, and also her brother, who’s a year older than she is, whom I’m pretty certain was not invited.

How do I know he was not invited?  The party mom introduced her to this little girl’s mother and said, ‘Oh, and who’s this?’ She said, ‘This is munchkinhead, her brother.’  And I could tell by the look on party mom’s face that this was not something that had been prearranged.  This other mom had gotten a wrist band for the brother, as if he were joining in the party.

There have been times when we’ve had parties and siblings have shown up, but we normally just have cake and ice cream at home.  Not the big to-do kind of party. I know to have a party at this location is a minimum of $150, not cheap for a 7 year old’s party. I know the mom paid for a party for X amount of children, I don’t know the number. So why would this other mom think it’s ok to bring her son along? I don’t understand it. To me, in my poor little pea-brain, it’s terribly rude and presumptuous of her.  And that really bugs me because I barely know her, but she seems so nice. Our daughters are good friends and really enjoy playing together. It would be nice if I got along with her as well.  Life would be so easy.

Now I dont’ want to assume they stayed the entire party. I haven’t asked my daughter if they stayed. She said her husband was going to take over. Maybe she wanted to stay w/her daughter until her husband got there and then she was going to leave w/the boy, I don’t know for sure. I hate assuming things. But it is disappointing. I’m coming into this situation with the frame of reference of something that happened to my BFF a couple of years ago.  She had a party for her son and 10 kids at a local mini amusement park type place, they had go carts, video games, mini golf, all kinds of fun stuff. One of her friends had 4 children and my friend had initially only invited the child who was friends with her son.  Makes sense, why invite the much older or younger siblings when they are not friends w/your child. so this woman shows up with ALL FOUR of her children and at first says well, we were just in the neighborhood.  And rather than just let them have cake, she let them eat the pizza and my BFF had to pay for three extra children, an expense she was not prepared for.  She was incensed and really unhappy with this woman’s behavior, it was rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate and presumptuous. I don’t know that they are still friends, but something like that might be tough to forget about. Particularly considering the state of my friend’s finances at the time. She was a single mom and living on a shoestring budget to begin with.

Anyway, it just really disappoints me if that was the case w/my daughter’s friend’s mother.  What would you do if you were the party mom and someone showed up w/uninvited siblings and dumped them on you and you were forced to pay extra?  Would you say ‘Oh, gee, I’m sorry Susie, I’ve only paid for ten children and Joey would put us over.’ Or would you grin and bear it and make it a point to not invite them next time? I don’t know how I would react.  She was already stressed to the hilt about the whole party and I don’t think that enhanced her life at all. Or maybe I’m just sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

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4 responses to “An Uninvited Guest

  1. valcitygal says:

    Holy moly… Awkward!!
    I think I would just not invite them anymore but – I would probably also make a point of speaking to the people that run the place and ask (within earshot of the mom who brought the extra expenses – I mean kids) – how much more per head I woud have to pay to accommodate the unforeseen guests. That would hopefully get the point across…maybe if it’s a nice person they would help pay or maybe, just maybe, they didn’t know how the place worked (price per kid)… Who knows. But I definitely wouldn’t invite them again. How rude – people mooching off of others drives me insane…it’s so inconsiderate and rude.

    • drmomx2 says:

      To not invite again is 100% what I would do, if it were I in the situation. I have not asked my daughter if they stayed the entire party. I had to leave, so I don’t know for sure. But it is definitely rude and inconsiderate. I like your idea of asking the people working there how much for an extra loud enough the parent hears. That is brilliant. I’ll have to file that away for future use!

  2. valcitygal says:

    P.S. Love your blog’s new holiday look! 🙂

    • drmomx2 says:

      Thanks! I like yours with the snow, it’s really lovely. Although you get more in the way of real snow than we do, I think.

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